For those who say love isn't worth it ...

I have often heard this notion about how love is really a weakness, how it causes you to relinquish your senses, self-respect, identity, dignity and all what not. How it makes you needy, desperate, fearful and anxious. Permit me to tell you that it’s all lies; all of it.

Love is NOT any of these things.

Now I’m not going to be one of those pink-cotton-candy people who believe that love consists of white-picket fences and deliriously happy endings; that in itself would be a lie. But I’m also not going to be one of those hard-core cynics who have forced themselves to believe (perhaps out of bad experiences) that love doesn’t exist.

Love exists, in it’s beauty, honesty and splendor. I believe in God, so best believe, I believe in love.

I think the first two components that need to find their way out of love are pride and ego. (Are they the same thing?).These things form the root, I believe of many things that go awry with love. Love CANNOT thrive in an atmosphere of pride. Pride is a poison that chokes the very root of love;  and it manifests itself in different ways. Being unable to apologize, inability to accept people for who they are (because you believe they can be better… you be God?), ALWAYS putting your OWN needs first, failing to be understanding or compassionate, neglecting the needs of those we love, etc. Any of these sound familiar? We’ve all been there. Even holding on to someone to tightly because you’re afraid they will leave is a SUPREME act of selfishness. Let them go! Even God does not force Himself on us; talk less of a human being.

Love is not always smooth-sailing. In fact, I strongly believe that it isn’t easy; if it was, then what would it be worth? We’ve been through times when we loved a little more, or a little less that we should have, the times when love walked away and slammed the door in our faces, the times when love would not, or could not just work. We’ve all been there, done that, got the t-shirt yea?

But even in all of this, life is teaching us a CRUCIAL lesson that love is not for sissies. According to my Warri brethren, "nor be beans." It’s not for those who feel the need to quickly label or categorize it. For if we’re truly honest with ourselves, we would accept that love is a constantly changing, evolving force. It is not static and even though we may try to stop or corrupt its flow, we would always fail. For at the core of love is God; and try getting in the way of God.

So for me, I’ve discovered that I don’t have all the answers to the knotty questions that love throws out. Sometimes I’m confused, angry and disappointed by it. But even at the end of all of that, is the instinctive knowledge (or hope), that love is totally, absolutely, completely well worth it. And it is definitely within reach… just stretch a little! :)

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