Liked most women, I've faced the issue of male chauvinism in varying degrees, and I usually deal with it by ignoring it, addressing it or sometimes, just laughing it off. But today it was too much of an overload - so yea, I'm addressing it.
A guy who owns a
start-up has a meeting scheduled with my boss; my boss is so busy that he asks
me to begin the meeting for him. I step into the board room to ready to meet this guy,
right arm out-stretched, smile in place; only for this man, this really ill-mannered
to remain in his chair, look at me with a mixture of incredulousness and
disbelief and say “Are you the one I’m
meeting?”
If someone had poured
cold water on my face, I wouldn't have been more shocked. “Really? In 2014?”
I think to myself.
Activating by ‘Bitchola’
mode, I withdraw my hand, assume an almost irritated expression and say
briskly:
“Yes I’m Head of
Marketing, the one you’re meeting, and I only have 10 minutes to meet with you.”
The change that
comes over this man is so instantaneous… and false that if it weren't so
insulting, it would be funny. Immediately he realizes that I’m in the position
of authority, he starts being ridiculously charming; I want to gag.
He spends the next
15 minutes hovering between courtesy and condescension; as if he can’t make up
his mind on whether to respect or revile me. It’s really fascinating to me that
this obviously intelligent, well-travelled man with a successful business would
have such a glaringly disgusting trait. It’s almost like he can’t control (at
least not intentionally) how he is reacting to me and I find this really
disturbing… and interesting.
Anyway, my boss
comes into the meeting a few minutes later with other colleagues and we proceed
to have a full-blown strategy session. I then notice that bros keeps looking at
me as if to say:
“What is she still
doing here? Abi her oga never come?”
Understandable. The
only other female in this room full of men is white. See how peoples prejudices
just creep out unannounced? Or am I the one who is being too
prejudiced/sensitive?
Fast forward to the
end of the meeting (my white colleague has been excused by this time), I’m
standing by the door of the board room, dude shakes everyone around the table
and makes a nice clean exit. He does not shake my hand (very obvious), and doesn't even acknowledge my presence (and addition) to this session.
Instead of feeling
shocked or offended, I feel really sad instead. Why has this man taken an instant
dislike to me I wonder? Why is he unused to seeing a woman who looks and talks
like me in the board-room? Why is he socially conditioned to ignore the
presence of a woman on a team, even though she is a very vital part of that
team? Am I even making a storm out of a tea cup? Or is this just another one of
those my “Too-serious” moments that my brother says I have? Who knows?
No comments:
Post a Comment